Leaving California, Pt. 1

So I am once again confronting a move across the country. My job with the Forest Service ended at the end of April, and I am back in the Santa Cruz mountains teaching young people to hug trees again until June, when I embark on my...count them...fourth cross country move. This time with a dog in tow. And, possibly, a fifteen foot kayak on top of the Civic. Anybody in California want to buy a well used sit-on-top kayak?
Last night I had a really hard time falling asleep. I was anxious. It's a month away, and already I am anxious. Anxious about another move. For so many reasons. Reasons that I now am going to list, along with reasons I am excited to head back East:

Reasons I am not so excited about moving to Maryland:

• It's a long drive.
  
• I still won't have benefits or a permanent job when I get there
• Humidity (I'm not too afraid of the heat, just the humidity)
• I am going to miss so many people in California
• Though my baseball fan loyalties still lie in Baltimore, I really have no idea about the Orioles these days. At the same time, I have found myself suddenly a SF Giants fan.
  
• John Miller (see above)
• California weather
• Having too much stuff and too small a car (yet, if I were to trade the Civic, say, for a Vanagon, I would miss the Civic when I am commuting)
• The ridiculously long commute I will be living with at first
• Dreading how much I will miss my friends and good times in California (I saw fit to repeat this one)
  

Reasons I am excited to move to Maryland:

• I will be close to my family.
  
• I never really gave my home state much of a chance after college
• I will personally save the Chesapeake Bay (okay, I'm exaggerating, but it's a worthy cause)
• Baltimore Ravens. Also, NFL games start later on the east coast.
  
• Opportunities to visit NH for hiking and such
• Close to a good number of friends I don't see nearly often enough
• Many job opportunities abound. I hope.
  
• Graduate schools that interest me are located on the east coast.
  
• Cheaper rent. I hope.
• Four seasons. Ask me again in a year if I am happy about cold icy rainy winters and hot humid summers
• Thunderstorms
• Getting to know Baltimore all over again
• Friends, family. Friends who are growing their families. Also, not having to spend a lot of money to go to Super Prom

Wow. That helps. Putting it down on paper. So I have humidity to fear, so what. I dealt with it for the first 20 or so odd years of my life.

Okay, so that was the list. Now, here's a poetic interpretation of my excitement and anxiety:

Migration fears:

• Vast expanses of freeway without a sleep stop in sight
• Consumerism
• Sprawl
• the TV Eye
• Rats. Racing.
  

Hopeful memories:

• That feeling in the air before a thunderstorm when the leaves turn inside out in the cooling breeze and the sky gets dark.
  
• You can't go home again (I know this). The new feel of old places.
  

So I am leaving CA. Again. Maybe not forever, as always. But the beginning of June will have me seeing how much stuff I can cram into a Civic. I've done it twice already, crammed my life into a Civic. Shouldn't be any harder this time. Though I am sure I will think fondly of the original 24 ft Ryder truck that brought me out here after college